How can I stay safe?

How to end a relationship?

Ending a relationship is never easy, but it might be the better solution if you don't feel happy anymore, if you no longer identify with the other person or if you don't like this person as much as you wished to.

  • Try to be discrete. Not everybody needs to know about it. A quiet place or with few people might be the best.
  • Do not break up by phone, email, text message or letter. That can hurt the other person. The best is to do it face-to-face.
  • Explain the reason why you want to break up.
  • Talk honestly, firmly (without being insensitive towards the other) and don’t step back or show uncertainty about the decision you are taking. For the other person, hearing "the best option is for us to break up" is different from "I think... maybe... it might be better if we stop seeing each other". If you hesitate when telling your boyfriend or girlfriend about your decision you might be giving him or her false hopes about a getting back together in future.
  • Do not get angry and do not blame the other for your decision.
  • Respect and understand the possible negative reactions from your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is natural that initially your boyfriend or girlfriend might feel angry or say something to hurt you.
    • Try to understand your boyfriend's or girlfriend's reactions by putting yourself in his or her place: what would you feel if someone wanted to break up with you?
  • If you don't think it is possible for you two to remain friends, do not consider or mention it.
? My boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with me! What can I do to get over it?

You have the right to feel sad, to cry and be angry about what the other has just done, or to feel let down by him/her.

Even so, do not forget that just because you are suffering you do not have the right to insult, hurt or cause injuries to the person who broke up with you.

We have some suggestions for you to get over this difficult period:

  • Time is a good healer. Despite feeling bad at this moment, you must believe that you'll get better as days go by.
  • Talk to your friends, your parents or other people you trust. They can give you advice and a different perspective on your situation. By talking about the break up, you can also let out your negative feelings and thoughts.
  • Take your mind off this: spend more time with your friends doing something you really enjoy (for example, go for a walk, go to the beach, watch some movies). Being with your friends is a way of keeping yourself active and thinking about something else.
  • Try something different or new you have been considering doing for some time: enrolling on a course, trying a new activity or an extreme sport.
  • Spoil yourself: treat yourself to some relaxing moments or pamper yourself (for example, buy clothes, a game or a CD or change your look).
  • Never forget that the end of that relationship is not the end of your life. You can take the opportunity to dedicate time to areas of your life that you have been putting a bit aside: for example, your studies, spending time with your siblings and your parents.


? My 'ex' did not accept the end of our relationship and won’t bothering me (calling me, leaving comments on my profile, following me everywhere). What can I do to resolve this?
  • Do not undermine what is happening and don’t try to convince yourself that the situation will resolve itself or that he/she will eventually give up. This type of behavior should be taken seriously..
  • Do not feel guilty. He/she is the only person responsible for what is happening.
  • Tell him/her clearly that you do not like what he/she is doing, that it is making you feel uncomfortable and that you want him/her to stop contacting you:
    • You can do it by phone, in a public place or in the presence of a person whom you trust.
    • Do not do it personally. He/she can react badly to what you say, have unexpected reactions or even aggressive attitudes.
  • If he/she continues to contact you, even after you have requested not to do so, do not reply or react in any way. The best approach is to ignore him/her. If contacts are made on the internet, you can search on Online Safety for more advice.
  • If he/she sent romantic gifts in an attempt to "buy” your affection, do not return it. Returning can be seen as an incentive for his/her behavior. It is best to keep everything (they can be used as proof of what is happening).
  • Write down all the incidents that happen (what has happened, when, where, how many times) and save all the evidence you have of their contacts (SMS, MMS, missed calls, incoming mail, letters, notes, postcards).
  • Talk to someone you trust and share what is happening. Talk to your parents and people closest to you and ask them to not reply or give information, in case they receive a contact from him/her.
  • You can also call Childline .The support is free and confidential.
  • Keep yourself safe:
    • change your routines (e.g. the route to school);
    • do the activities you have planned in the company of others;
    • avoid isolated places and areas you do not know well;
    • keep important contacts in the speed-dial on your phone, in case you need to ask for help;
    • in an emergency situation (e.g. you are being followed or threatened) you can call 999.