Dating Violence

How to end a violent relationship?

As soon you realise you are a victim you can take the next step – leave him/her or seek help and support to leave the relationship. However, this step is not always an easy one.

Some young people find themselves involved in violent relationships for a long time. This happens because, in fact, it is hard to accept we are living an abusive relationship and to put an end to it:
  • Our boyfriend/girlfriend is aggressive when we argue, but afterwards says he/she is sorry and promises not to behave like that again.
  • We  believe that if we can make him/her happy he/she won't be aggressive again.
  • Our boyfriend/girlfriend threatens to make things worse if we break up.
  • Our boyfriend/girlfriend threatens to hurt himself/herself if we break up.
  • We believe that it is better to be with our boyfriend/girlfriend than to be alone.
  • We like him/her and do not want to break up.

  • Always remember that nobody has the right to be violent against you.
  • Whatever the reason, violence is unacceptable.

When you feel ready to end your  violent relationship:

  • Talk to someone you trust about what's going on: your parents, a friend, a teacher.
  • Do not confront or act violently against your boyfriend/girlfriend. If you want to talk to him/her about his/her violent behaviour do it in a public space or in a place with people nearby.
  • There are support organisations who can give you support and advice free of charge. You do not need to have made a report to the police. See How and where can I get support? for more information.



It is natural to feel ashamed to talk about what is happening to you, but remember that you are not responsible for your boyfriend/girlfriend’s abusive behaviour. Your main responsibility is your own safety and well-being.