Dating Violence

How does it affect the victim?

Being a victim of violence at the hands of the person you chose to be your boyfriend/girlfriend can be a complicated experience and a difficult situation to solve:
  • It is difficult to understand (and even to believe) that someone we like is able to hurt us.
  • It is a betrayal to be hurt and mistreated by someone we trusted.
  • It is not always easy to understand that what is going on is a form of abuse: “My boyfriend/girlfriend won’t let me be with my friends when he/she is there. Is this jealousy or abuse?”.
  • Despite them mistreating us, we still like him/her.
  • We don't want to hurt or let the other down. 
  • We don't want to be alone.
  • We don't want to tell anyone what's going on.
  • We are ashamed to tell anyone what's going on.
  • We are afraid that something bad might happen to our boyfriend/girlfriend if we tell someone what is going on.
  • We are afraid that nobody will believe us. 
  • We are afraid that then the other will hurt us or hurt himself/herself.
  • We don't want the relationship to end.
  • We hope that he/she will change or he/she has promised to change.
  • We think that nobody will be able to help us.


Because of all these difficulties, many young people in this situation feel:

como se sente a vítima de violência no namoro

  • alone;
  • afraid;
  • distrustful;
  • frightened;
  • confused;
  • sad;
  • anxious;
  • insecure.



All these feelings are natural and experienced by many victims. Do not forget that it is possible to overcome them.