Some young people find themselves involved in violent relationships for a long time. This happens because, in fact, it is hard to accept we are living an abusive relationship and to put an end to it:
- Our boyfriend/girlfriend is aggressive when we argue, but afterwards says he/she is sorry and promises not to behave like that again.
- We believe that if we can make him/her happy he/she won't be aggressive again.
- Our boyfriend/girlfriend threatens to make things worse if we break up.
- Our boyfriend/girlfriend threatens to hurt himself/herself if we break up.
- We believe that it is better to be with our boyfriend/girlfriend than to be alone.
- We like him/her and do not want to break up.
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When you feel ready to end your violent relationship:
- Talk to someone you trust about what's going on: your parents, a friend, a teacher.
- Do not confront or act violently against your boyfriend/girlfriend. If you want to talk to him/her about his/her violent behaviour do it in a public space or in a place with people nearby.
- There are support organisations who can give you support and advice free of charge. You do not need to have made a report to the police. See How and where can I get support? for more information.
PLEASE NOTE:
It is natural to feel ashamed to talk about what is happening to you, but remember that you are not responsible for your boyfriend/girlfriend’s abusive behaviour. Your main responsibility is your own safety and well-being.